You walk in the door. Your body is home, but your head is still in the meeting, the inbox, the traffic, the conversation that went sideways at three o'clock.
And now someone wants to know what's for dinner.
Here's the good news: dinner can be the reset. One of the things I love most about cooking therapy is that it does double duty. You're making a meal anyway. Why not make it the ten minutes that helps you leave the workday at the door?
Here's a 10-minute kitchen reset, one of my favorite ways to destress after work. Do it before you start cooking, or fold it into the first few minutes of whatever you're making.
Minute 1: Change one thing
Take off the work shoes. Swap the blazer for a sweatshirt. Put the phone in another room. It's a small signal that the workday has ended and something else is beginning.
Minute 2: Wash your hands like you mean it
When we wash our hands before cooking, it isn't just about germs. It sets the tone for something fresh. As the water runs, think about letting go of one thing from today you don't need to bring into the evening.
Minute 3: Create a little calm
You don't need a fancy kitchen. Light a candle (safely!), turn on a lamp instead of the overhead light, pour something into a mug you love. Surrounding yourself with things you value is a quick way to feel a little more worthy and a little less frazzled.
Minutes 4 and 5: Mise en place
Set out what you'll need: the cutting board, the knife, the ingredients. Mise en place means "putting everything in its place," and there's something calming about lining things up. When the counter is in order, your head often follows.
Minutes 6 and 7: Chop something slowly
An onion, a carrot, a pepper. Notice the sound of the knife and the rhythm of it. Chopping is a good reminder that a big, worrying day can be broken into pieces that are small and manageable. Pick one piece of tomorrow's to-do list and let the rest wait.
Want someone to talk you through it? The free Cooking Therapy app for iPhone has short guided audios in my voice, made for exactly this moment at the counter. Download Cooking Therapy
Minute 8: Lower the heat
Put a pot of water on to boil and watch it. When it starts to bubble up, turn the heat down and watch the bubbles settle. That's exactly what you're doing for yourself right now: lowering the temperature after a long day.
Minute 9: Put one worry in the fridge
If there's something from work you can't stop thinking about, write it on a sticky note and put it in the fridge. Tell yourself, "I'm going to chill on that." It'll still be there tomorrow. It just doesn't get to come to dinner.
Minute 10: Give yourself credit
You got through the day. You came home. You're making dinner. That's a lot! Every time you go in the kitchen is a chance to applaud yourself. So do it.
Make it yours
You don't have to follow these steps in order, or do all ten minutes every night. Some nights, washing your hands and lowering the heat will be enough.
The point isn't the perfect routine. It's having a small, reliable way to come home to yourself, not just to your house.
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Cooking Therapy pioneer Debra Borden, LCSW, is the author of four books, including Cooking As Therapy - How to Improve Mental Health Through Cooking. Learn more here about her writing journey, how she became known as The Sous Therapist, and the stories that shape her work.